Got Shame? Here’s How To Get Rid It!

The definition of shame (according to Merriam-Webster) is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

Have you ever done something shameful?
Have you ever felt ashamed?

Shame makes us do some pretty whacky stuff!

Concealing things you’re ashamed of can cause you to avoid authentic relationship.
What do I mean by that?
Maybe you’re sick of lying about this shameful thing, so you avoid being around others so they can’t ask a question that would prompt you to lie more.
Maybe you don’t want to get too close to anyone because they might inquire about something that prompts a memory of what you did.
Maybe you are nervous someone will make a judgmental comment about the people who have done the same shameful thing as you and you feel defensive.

Friend, it’s time to live in the freedom of truth!
Admit it, bring it to the light, not to bring shame but to bring change!

Sometimes you need to stop living in past tense.
Accept that what happened, happened.
Take responsibility.
Humble yourself. Set pride aside.
Share with whomever it affects directly and personally.
There is no need to share publicly unless you feel called to.
Apologize to whomever you may need to.
Admitting weakness gives the opportunity for more strength.

Let me give you a visual.
You are walking through the airport and you have 5 bags you’re lugging by yourself.
Someone notices your struggle and offers you a cart to put the bags on.
What do you do? Do you accept the offer?
If you’re not stubborn, the answer is yes!
You accept the gift with gratitude and feel the freedom from all that heavy weight.
It’s the same with emotional baggage.
When you’re carrying it all by yourself, you are too weak.
So friend, I’m telling you, UNLOAD!
Share your shame.
I’m not saying it will make that baggage disappear.
It’s still with you, but instead of carrying it, you are pushing it around.
It no longer bogs you down, and you have a more control over it instead of it controlling you.

Sometimes revealing shame brings consequences.
If your shame is directly related to something you did to someone else, then there may be a long road of walking through that.
Here’s my encouragement to you that the consequences are worth the freedom you’ll ultimately feel…
After a wildfire comes new growth.

You might be saying, you have no idea how awful the thing is that I did that brings shame.
You have no idea the repercussions that would come; I could lose my job/spouse/friends/family/etc.

Well friends, wildfires CAN be extremely devastating.
But even the most catastrophic fire eventually burns out.
You’ll get to a point where the flames die down.
You don’t have to stay stuck in that yuck.
You can choose to start fresh.
Bringing your shame out of the shadows started the pruning process.
Now it’s time to blossom new and better parts of you.


Unload your shame.
Quit holding that toxic yuck in!
It’s time…

Prune + Blossom,
Nicole

 

 

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